Home » Blog » Are you avoiding having a difficult conversation?

Firstly what would you call a difficult or challenging conversation? It is where you have to manage emotions and information in a sensitive way in order to:

• address poor performance or conduct
• deal with personal problems
• investigate complaints/deal with grievances
• comfort or reassure someone – for example, if they are to be made redundant
• tackle personality clashes.

The conversation usually takes place one-to-one and can really test your skills.
Why should I act now?

If you do not act now then you could:
• mislead the employee by giving the impression that there is no problem
• deny the employee the chance to improve or put things right
• damage the productivity and efficiency of your business
• lower the morale amongst team members.

How can I make the conversations more bearable?

You can help make conversations with your employees less difficult by:
• having a quiet word at the first sign that something is wrong
• keeping in touch with your staff and the team
• using employee representatives as sounding boards for how staff are feeling about issues.

It is far better to nip problems in the bud, wherever possible, rather than waiting for them to become more entrenched or complicated.

What skills do I need to handle a challenging conversation?

Many of the skills needed to manage difficult conversations and behaviour are often referred to, in a rather derogatory tone, as ‘soft’. But there’s nothing soft about dealing with an emotional or confrontational employee who may appear to be trying to unsettle or undermine you.
In order to manage a difficult conversation you need to think carefully about:
• the way you communicate
• your ability to take control of a meeting and
• your levels of self-belief.

You need to carefully plan and structure the meeting, have any evidence you need to discuss. So what happens in the meeting?

1. Ask them how they are, remember they are not had any time to prepare for what you are about to discuss.
2. Be curious (around the issue, don’t be too general), it is fact finding meeting for you.
3. Seek further information and probe
4. Describe any noticed behaviours
5. Offer support
6. Duty to explore allegations (if any are raised)
7. Get to specifics, go back to noticed behaviours if necessary
8. Explain process/next steps
9. Bring it back to support/concern for individual
10. Refer to additional resources, if there are any
11. Review next steps & Schedule follow up
12. Openly respect confidentiality…

If you want help planning the meeting or want to talk it through please contact Jane on 07810 563 676 or on Jane.Blackwood@HRBusCons.co.uk

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